FEAR AND GUILT...
Topics I have thought a lot about and could probably center an entire blog around it because of its prevalence in our lives. It is certainly in my life, how about yours?
I have been feeling guilty about this poor little blog of mine. I had all these great hopes and dreams when I started and they seemed to last only momentarily because something big and scary got in my way:
FEAR.
Fear of what I do not know exactly know - but mostly fear of failing I suppose. Fear of putting myself out there and having no one appreciate it. I thought I was ready to be a brave super woman and let it all hang out, but I have learned that that is really not what it is all about. This blog is about being honest and real and scared and insecure and then brave in spite of it all.
So I admit to being scared and insecure and I am going to try to be brave. I didn't anticipate this hump to climb over, but it is here so I must climb over it to find out what is on the other side.
Funny how fear gets in the way of ourselves making the choices and progress that we want to make. That has always been a challenge for me. I freeze up because I feel the need to be perfect the first try and I sabotage myself. It is really quite silly when I think about it logically, but it is all too real in the moment.
And then fear inevitably leads to feelings of guilt - that we should have, would have, could have. We kick ourselves for not being more brave and trying that new thing, or for choosing to stay home instead of putting ourselves out there, or for avoiding a blog that was intended to help other women. We feel crappy about it because we were not true to what we were prompted to do. We let fear muck it up and then we feel guilty about it. It is a complicated dynamic and one that I am not entirely sure how to resolve.
What I do know is that when I am true to the promptings I get, I am almost always happier and I know that 99% of the time, when I try something new, I am glad that I did - even if I make a fool of myself - and I usually walk away will a satisfied feeling that I did something meaningful and worthwhile and a little bit brave. I feel satisfied because I am growing and that is really what life is all about. Growing up and out to be better today than we were yesterday.
So thanks for hanging in there with my insecurities and for those of you who have encouraged me to be brave and go for it. It means a lot and it is what real super women do for each other.
Now go be brave today.
-Tin
Topics I have thought a lot about and could probably center an entire blog around it because of its prevalence in our lives. It is certainly in my life, how about yours?
I have been feeling guilty about this poor little blog of mine. I had all these great hopes and dreams when I started and they seemed to last only momentarily because something big and scary got in my way:
FEAR.
Fear of what I do not know exactly know - but mostly fear of failing I suppose. Fear of putting myself out there and having no one appreciate it. I thought I was ready to be a brave super woman and let it all hang out, but I have learned that that is really not what it is all about. This blog is about being honest and real and scared and insecure and then brave in spite of it all.
So I admit to being scared and insecure and I am going to try to be brave. I didn't anticipate this hump to climb over, but it is here so I must climb over it to find out what is on the other side.
Funny how fear gets in the way of ourselves making the choices and progress that we want to make. That has always been a challenge for me. I freeze up because I feel the need to be perfect the first try and I sabotage myself. It is really quite silly when I think about it logically, but it is all too real in the moment.
And then fear inevitably leads to feelings of guilt - that we should have, would have, could have. We kick ourselves for not being more brave and trying that new thing, or for choosing to stay home instead of putting ourselves out there, or for avoiding a blog that was intended to help other women. We feel crappy about it because we were not true to what we were prompted to do. We let fear muck it up and then we feel guilty about it. It is a complicated dynamic and one that I am not entirely sure how to resolve.
What I do know is that when I am true to the promptings I get, I am almost always happier and I know that 99% of the time, when I try something new, I am glad that I did - even if I make a fool of myself - and I usually walk away will a satisfied feeling that I did something meaningful and worthwhile and a little bit brave. I feel satisfied because I am growing and that is really what life is all about. Growing up and out to be better today than we were yesterday.
So thanks for hanging in there with my insecurities and for those of you who have encouraged me to be brave and go for it. It means a lot and it is what real super women do for each other.
Now go be brave today.
-Tin
2 comments:
An idea for future blog posts--stories of real superwomen, ones you know or have found on the net, written by you or retold, or even just linked to. One I just learned about--Nancy Goodman Brinker, founder of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure. She started a hometown fundraiser to honor her departed sister and it grew into a major nonprofit, one we all recognize. Moral of the story: whatever it is you'd like to do or try, don't be afraid to start. You might not know just exactly what you're starting. =)
Thank you so much for tackling these emotions in your blog, Kristin! They are emotions that I fight with almost constantly, and am working on changing that state. This is even as simple as opening my mouth to talk to a stranger in the grocery store. I used to avoid things like that because I was afraid that the person would think I was weird for talking to them or they would think that what I had to say was stupid. All I can say is that, in the 2 months or so since I've really been focusing on this, I have not had ONE bad experience. In fact, I've had several people actually tell me I made their day just by acknowledging them. I don't do this all for myself (though the compliments are a nice perk), but also because I figure there are a lot of other scared people out there who could use a friendly face. Then, I never have to wonder if I missed the opportunity to make a new friend or help someone in need. You're dead-on on this entry. Great observations.
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